


Precious Beyond Words

by firewolfsg



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: F/M, Kink Meme, Loss of Virginity, M/M, Past Child Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-22
Updated: 2015-08-22
Packaged: 2018-04-16 15:12:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,268
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4630002
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/firewolfsg/pseuds/firewolfsg
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based on <a href="http://community.livejournal.com/st_xi_kink_meme/14468.html?thread=14166148#t14166148">ST XI Kink meme</a></p><p>"'Okay, I have a different twist on an old prompt idea. You know the aliens need a virgin for their ritual' prompt and then it comes out that Kirk is a virgin. Well, I don't want him to be a virgin. I want him to be arguing with the aliens who are like 'yeah you are and we need you for the ritual!' and kirk like 'no I haven't been a virgin since I was fucking six!' Then it all comes out that no he wasn't really a whore during the academy, he just liked to flirt a lot and people lied since they wanted to be able to say they fucked George Kirk's son and he just didn't give a damn because he thought that he was a whore and what did it matter if he had or had not had sex with any of them since his step-father fucked him and occasionally shared him when he was young before he learned how to fight back. I want the aliens to convince him to let him be used in the ritual, since they do view him as a virgin since it wasn't consensual and he is still 'pure'."...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Precious Beyond Words

"But the high priest is never wrong."

"No, and you listen to me. If this ritual is so sacred, I'll only desecrate it if you ask me to participate. I haven't been a virgin since I was fucking six!"

The deafening silence made Jim suddenly aware that he had said this loud enough to be heard by the entire table. He turned then in sicken horror to realise that Spock, Uhura, Sulu and the other members of his away team had heard him clearly and were now staring at him, stunned at this revelation.

Jim turned away quickly to focus upon the aged alien priest. "Lord Inyaku..."

"Be at peace, Captain. Our language is different, so perhaps our concepts are not translating very well." The priest told him gently. "Ours is a warrior race, Captain. As such sex can come into the equation in acts of domination and submission among combatants. For my people, first physical acts in sex does not equate First Rites.

"It sounds as if you came to this knowledge very early, but among my people it truly is not uncommon for children to experiment and explore in the lead up to their First Rites. And until then, they are still-- I'm not fond of the word in your language, but it is the closest I can equate-- 'pure.'

"You have not had your First Rites, Captain. Even I whom am but a journeyman in my priesthood can sense that of you. It would honour the agreement between our Societies greatly if you would let us seal it with a ceremony of your awakening."

Jim could not withhold the shudder which rippled through him at his words. This immediately had the priest tightening his grip over Jim's hands in concern. "I--I don't understand--? You were--you were hurt in-- Oh-- it was not--"

The priest turned his face up to glance at the expressions of the other humans. And in that moment he read the truth of the situation.

Jim refused to look up. His stinging eyes were focussed on the warm hands still holding his. He suddenly felt utterly exposed. He had never wanted anyone to know what Frank had done to him in the months when his mother was in space and Sam safely away at school. And now Spock, Uhura-- He could sense the horror and pity in their gaze.

"Captain Kirk." A gentle hand touched his chin, lifting it so that he could meet the gaze of the old Priest again. "What was done to you as a child was clearly a crime," Inyaku told him softly. "You attach shame and disgust to yourself for what happened, but this is misdirected. The ones at fault were the ones who hurt you and betrayed their responsibilities to protect the child that you were at that time.

"Your soul and even your physical being have not been sullied by what was done to you, my son." Inyaku told him firmly. "And in the eyes of my people especially, we see you as a rare jewel for your purity of soul and spirit."

Jim choked unexpectedly almost disbelievingly at the statement. But the conviction in the elder's eyes burned in him and the fire in the reddish brown irises seemingly shattered the knot of nausea he'd held in his gut ever since his secret was exposed. And Jim thought then that he'd like to believe Inyaku... that he could believe this old priest in a way he couldn't ever have believed anyone else.

"S--s--so what-- does this Rite involve?" Jim asked almost timidly, feeling still quite overwhelmed, but wanting to press on to hopefully get pass this awkward revelation. "If I'm 'pure' right now, do I then become 'soiled' after the Rite?"

Inyaku laughed merrily at the suggestion. "My dear Captain. You become learned. First Rites is as much instruction as it is the first awakening. Another translation of your current status among us would be 'innocent of knowledge'."

Jim couldn't help the face he made at that statement. Inyaku clasped his hands in his again kindly. "We of course mean learned in what you would rightly gain knowledge of from your First Rites."

"Lord Inyaku--"

"You need not make your decision this evening, Captain." The old priest told him gently. "While it would honour us greatly if you would share the celebration of your First Rites with us, we would understand if you wish not to."

"What-- what does it involve?"

"This is a discussion for another day, Captain." The old priest held up his hand to gesture to the food and drink laid before them. "Do not stress over it for now. There are too many eyes upon us and we need no audience for this when you are already distressed by the idea. If you wish to speak of it, we will do so in private in the presence of someone you trust. "

Jim nodded in thanks. As Inyaku reminded him, there was already too much attention upon them because of his earlier outburst. Besides, he really was unprepared to discuss something like this in such a public arena.

At the least, Jim thought to give Inyaku the courtesy of listening to what was proposed as their culture's First Rites. As the old priest had said, he did not have to participate.

However, Jim couldn't say he was intrigued and attracted to the idea of being taught about sex in what promised to be a much more encouraging and appealing manner. Frank was-- he never liked to think about what his Stepfather had done to him in his mother's absence.

Gaila had been his most understanding girlfriend back in the day. Of all his acquaintances and so called flings, the Orion had been the one who read him like a book and she just *knew* him; knew his issues, knew why he was so skittish beyond a certain point. She had been the one to finally get past all his barriers and made him feel comfortable in his skin again.

Jim felt eyes upon him and looked up to see Uhura unabashedly staring at him with compassion in her eyes, and he knew she had just realised what Gaila had been to him; what might have happened if she hadn't interrupted them that time by coming back early to the room she shared with Gaila. Well…

Letting out of huff of breath, Jim gave her a one shoulder shrug. It was too many months in the past now. He had been crushed to have lost Gaila so long ago, and since Starfleet made him Captain, he hadn't had that much time or energy to think of pursuing or building up his confidence again with someone else anyway.

He briefly acknowledged the looks of concern the rest of his Away Team was sending his way, but Jim rather hoped his command staff would do him the favour of forgetting all about the revelations. The gentle pressure of a hand on his arm made Jim turn to look at Spock in surprise for his rather obvious concern too. The Vulcan was not a touchy feely sort and... There was a gentle question in his eyes which asked if he was all right. Jim just felt glad that he didn't see pity in his eyes.

He didn't feel that he needed to say anything and just nodded slightly, turning his attention back to their meal as Inyaku adroitly changed the subject and started to introduce the new dishes being placed before them.

TBC ?

Sigh… Sorry, awaiting inspiration.

Thanks for reading.

Firewolf

**Author's Note:**

> Unfortunately, this was as far as I got before I got stymied by the thought of who would be best to offer Jim this knowledge?


End file.
